I Might Be Cruising for a Bruising Here… But I Really Don’t Like Tom (Cruise, That Is)

So I’m sure this is going to be a controversial post. I don’t want to offend anyone (and it's obviously my own opinion)… and I don’t know why. I just don’t like Tom Cruise.

It’s not that he’s done anything to me personally. I’ve obviously never even met the man - we don’t run in the same circles funnily enough (though I did sit about 10 meters away from him at Wimbledon once). There’s just something about him that really grates on me.

It hasn’t always been that way - I remember enjoying his films from the 80’s. Top Gun for instance. And Cocktail. And… well… actually… that’s pretty much it. For a man with near on 50 films to his name, that’s not a great success ratio…. Of course I have actually seen several more of his films and I’ve also no doubt that some of them are probably quite good. But I don’t want to rewatch any (and for those who know me, I will rewatch ANYTHING over and over again). It’s just him. I don’t enjoy him being on the screen - and I will therefore go to any lengths to avoid watching them. 

He is the only reason that I haven’t seen the Top Gun sequel, Maverick.

I can’t quite pinpoint the moment that my dislike started. Was it the rumour that he had to have lifts in his shoes for Interview with a Vampire because he was angry/obsessed with being seen as being too short? Was it the horror of Eyes Wide Shut? Maybe it’s that bright white grin. Or the fact that he doesn’t seem to age…. I’m guessing the weirdness of the Scientology cult has something to do with it (maybe that’s why doesn’t age - maybe HE’s the alien). Jumping up and down on Oprah's sofa whilst declaring his love for his soon to third (now ex) wife certainly didn’t help my view of him.

Yes, yes, I know he’s been in multiple blockbusters. Is a talented producer. Amazing at doing his own stunts. Appreciates a good curry (as Veer Dhara - the swanky St Albans curry house will tell you). And he won't give two hoots about what little old, no influence, me has to say. Blah blah blah. None of that will change my opinion. And if that means I need to miss out on a cinema trip now and again - I’m not that bothered.

So instead the OH is going to see the latest Mission Impossible release tomorrow with his brother. Meaning I’ve conveniently dodged a bullet… except I haven’t. Somehow (and given how much he apparently enjoys these films), the OH hasn’t see the last two M.I. movies...  and he’s left it to 2 days before the trip to the cinema to cram them in. So last nights entertainment after dinner was Rogue Nation and tonight, it’s the next one (I can’t even be bothered to look up the name - “Mission Impossible 89” or something).

I know I could have occupied myself with something else - hell, we’ve got another TV in the loft room plus iPads and phones to watch things on. But I didn’t. I was the annoying partner who sat there, only one eye on the actual film whilst I continued to weave my way through Instagram and internet shopping. Making statements and asking questions like “who’s that?”, “why are they doing that?”, “well that wouldn’t happen in real life”, and “urgh, I hate Tom Cruise”. Though it is pleasing to see that the film franchise continues to embrace the ludicrous Mission Impossible approach of simply getting another actor to pretend to be Tom Cruise wearing a full face mask as a disguise*.

So I’ll watch the film tonight, if only for the reason that I get to spend the evening with my OH. I’ll half watch the film, half read the new spicy book I’m part way through - all whilst smattering sarcastic remarks at ill advised moments, leaving the OH to mutter that he had offered to watch the film on his own in another room. I’ll just have to hope that Tom needs to spend most of the film in an elaborate disguise - hopefully as Henry Cavill. I might be more inclined to pay attention that way…

*I know this as I have watched FAR too many episodes of the original Mission Impossible TV series